i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize