I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
