Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
