I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
