I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
