Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
