3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
