apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
