He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
