im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
