i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
