Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize