Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It's just like the Real World with babies
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
