You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well you can't waste a boner
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
