he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
