youre lurking in front of me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
