My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
