He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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