What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Mom said you looked used
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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