Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
