I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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