Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The air was thick with penises
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
