ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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