i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
