Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
where are my eyebrows?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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