i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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