I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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