She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
