I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize