Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
