I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
