My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
