He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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