I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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