If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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