He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize