This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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