Welp...herpes.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
