It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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