i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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