I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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