Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
