I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
