i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
