day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
