my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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