She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
