I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
