yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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