so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
honey bunches of taint.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Found the puke drawer
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
