it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
