Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
