I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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