how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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