Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
