She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
