is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
