There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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