Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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